What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is more than isolated incidents of conflict. It is a pattern of behaviors used by one person to gain power and control over another in an intimate relationship, family relationship, or caregiving relationship.
Abuse is not always physical. It can involve many different tactics, and often multiple forms of abuse happen at the same time.
Types of Abuse
Physical abuse
Hitting, shoving, strangling, using weapons, or any action meant to cause pain, injury, or fear.
Emotional abuse
Constant criticism, name-calling, humiliation, or behaviors meant to hurt your self-esteem and independence.
Sexual abuse
Any sexual activity without consent, or when someone is pressured, manipulated, or unable to consent.
Financial abuse
Controlling money, stealing, preventing access to funds, or ruining someone’s credit to maintain control.
Psychological abuse
Threats, intimidation, destroying property, harming pets, isolating someone from friends and family, or gaslighting (making someone doubt their own memories or reality).
Other forms of abuse
This can include immigration-related threats, digital abuse (monitoring devices, accounts, or location), and reproductive coercion (interfering with birth control or pregnancy decisions).
Understanding Power and Control
Domestic violence is about more than isolated incidents — it’s about patterns of power and control.
The Power and Control Wheel illustrates common tactics people use to maintain control in an abusive relationship. You might recognize some, all, or none of these behaviors in your own experience — every situation is different.
If you see yourself or someone you know in any part of this wheel, remember: abuse is never your fault, and help is available.
Effects of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence often leaves profound and lasting effects on its people who experience it. It can lead to long-term psychological trauma, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), deeply impacting the mental health and well-being of survivors. The fear and stress stemming from such violence often result in a decreased ability to concentrate, work, and engage in social activities, leading to isolation and a sense of helplessness.
The impact of domestic violence on the family unit is far-reaching as well, particularly for children who witness domestic violence. It can disrupt their emotional development and educational progress, and increase the likelihood of them perpetuating or experiencing similar abuse in the future. In this way, domestic violence not only scars individuals but also perpetuates a cycle of abuse that can span generations, making it a critical public health and social problem.
If You Are Thinking About Leaving
Leaving an abusive situation can be dangerous. Planning ahead can help keep you safer:
• Identify a safe place to go.
• Pack important items (IDs, medications, keys, money) in a place you can access quickly.
• Memorize important phone numbers.
• Use a safe phone or computer when looking up resources.
• Share your plan with a trusted friend or family member, if possible.
You can read more about safety planning here:
Get Help
If you are in the District of Columbia and need help, you can call, text, or chat with the DC Victim Hotline anytime at 1-844-443-5732.
They offer trauma-informed support, safety planning, and connection to services across the city, with access to interpreters in over 200 languages.
For those outside DC, you can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), text “START” to 88788, or visit The Hotline for a list of local resources.
How My Sister’s Place Can Help
My Sister’s Place (MSP) shelters, supports, and empowers people experiencing domestic violence and their children. We provide a full continuum of care—from emergency shelter to transitional and permanent housing—along with counseling, advocacy, and community education to help end the cycle of abuse.
Our services are confidential, free, and open to people of all genders and backgrounds.