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People who stay in abusive relationships undergo gradual steps of reasoning to reconcile the violence in their minds. The reasons they stay may change as the violence in the relationship progresses.
 

At first, someone stays because:
they love their partner
they believe their partner will change
they believe that they can control the beatings by doing things that their
partners wants; cleaning the house, keeping the kids quiet...
they are embarrassed for their partner and themselves
they are afraid of what will happen if the police become involved
 

Later, someone stays because:
they love their partner, but less
they hope their partner will change or get help and believe their partner
when they say that they will change
they are under pressure from family and friends to stay
they believe their partner loves and needs them
they're afraid to be alone
they believe they can't support themselves
they're confused
they're increasingly scared of their partner's behavior

Finally, someone stays because:
FEAR: the partner has become incredibly powerful in their eyes
the partner threatens to kill them, the children, or their family
they have developed low self-esteem
they believe no one can love them
they believe they cannot survive alone
they are very confused and feel guilty
they become depressed and immobile. Decisions are difficult, sometimes
impossible to make.
they believe they have no options
they have developed serious emotional and physical problems
they become suicidal and/or homicidal
 
 
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