My Sister's Place

Myth #1: Domestic Violence doesn't occur in lesbian relationships. Women don't do that to each other.
Women do batter other women. In fact, the American Bar Association estimates that battering occurs in same-sex relationships at the same rates as in heterosexual relationships, about one in four.

Myth #2: Lesbian battering is just a "cat fight" and they both participate.
Abuse in lesbian relationships is not mutual battering. Battering is not just a fight, it is a method of power of control. Theabuser manipulates the victim into believing that she is equally of power of control. The abuser manipulates the victim into believing that she is equally responsible if she takes self-defense action.

Myth #3: Physical injury isn't as great in lesbian abusive relationships.
In any abusive relationship, the size of the batterer doesn't determine the amount of damage sustained by the violence. Intense anger or rage can enable a smaller person to overwhelm a larger person.

Myth #4: Battered lesbians are as likely to call themselves victims as are heterosexual women.
Denial by lesbian victims is often quite deep because of the myth that women don't learn violence and the myth of mutual battering. The lesbian community has yet to recognize and name the abusive behavior for whatit is — BATTERING. This makes it difficult for many lesbians to speak out. There are also fewer resources available for lesbian survivors. Homosexuals fear that acknowledging same-sex domestic violence could reinforce homophobia and negative stereotypes.

Myth #5: It is no more difficult for a battered lesbian to seek help than it is for a heterosexual victim.
It is hard for anyone in abusive relationship to seek help, but there are added difficulties for lesbians. There is little acceptance of the existence of lesbian battering. Many battered women's services are not sensitive to the needs of lesbians. If her family, friends, and colleagues do not know she is a lesbian, it will be virtually impossible for the victim to reach out to them for support.

Myth#6: Children are not an issue for battered lesbians.
Many lesbians are mothers. Questions of child custody may arise for a battered lesbian if she admits that she is a lesbian. Abuse in the mother's relationship often exacerbates custody issues.

Myth #7: Men are more violent and cause more harm.
Battered women who seek help report violence and threats of violence that are just as severe and life-threatening as do other battered women. Never discount or minimize a woman's fear of the violence in her relationship just because she is a lesbian and her partner is another woman.