Who Are the Abusers?

People who abuse come from all class backgrounds, races, religions. There is no "typical" abuser. People who abuse MAY often:

	Fear losing control
	Have stereotypical ideas about how people in a relationship should act
	Have low self-esteem
	Keep to themselves
	Have a history of family alcohol or drug abuse
	Witnessed violence between parents or were abused as a child
	Have poor relationships with women in their lives, such as past girlfriends or family members
	Act extremely jealous and possessive
	Have controlling behavior
	Are quick to get involved in the relationship
	Have unrealistic expectations for their relationships
	Blame others for their own problems or for uncontrollable events
	Are cruel to animals or children
	Act verbally abusive
	Have abused former partners
	Threaten to use violence
	Use force during an argument
Why does someone batter? During any conversation about domestic violence the question invariably becomes "why does the person being abused stay?," when the question really should be "why does someone batter?" If we wish to eradicate domestic violence this is the question we must ask.
	Battering is NOT a mental illness or an anger management issue, but a learned behavioral choice.
	Batterers choose violence and until recently, there have been few consequences to deter them.
	They batter because they CAN.
	Battering is an extreme expression of the belief in male dominance over women.
	They use physical force to maintain power and control in their relationships.
	Many batterers grew up in a home where either they were abused or they saw their mother abused.
Abusers may have one or more of the following characteristics:
	extreme jealousy and possessiveness
	controlling behavior
	quick involvement in the relationship
	unrealistic expectations
	isolation
	blames others
	cruelty to animals or children
	verbal abuse
	past battering
	threats of violence
	any use of force during an argument
	does not take responsibility for his or her actions